I find that I'm in this weird season of re-discovering who I am, and more importantly, learning "whose" I am.
I got married. And my world has drastically shifted. I knew it was coming (we had a few months of planning) but what I didn't know how to plan for was the new identity that came with my new role of "wife."
First, let me say, I LOVE marriage. I LOVE my husband, and I wouldn't change anything, even if it meant more comfort in my heart through this transition.
But, this new identity, is hard one.
No, its not about names, as I've already mentioned to some of you that I still often times correct myself... "hello, my name is Pam McKerr... I mean Markley" is a common phrase.
It's the new role. Let's face it, I've NEVER been a wife before. And like other things, I really want to be excellent at it. But I'm not sure how to do that...
I'm not sure how to be a friend that is "married" or a pastor who is "married" or a wife who is a "pastor."
I'm finding that this change also brings about thoughts of who I want to be and what type of person I want to be. I am redefining what matters most, and what takes precedence in life. It's confusing. difficult. and sometimes makes me want to hide under the covers.
But I find myself incredibly thankful that my friends, co-workers, and husband are all quite patient with me as I figure out how this new role affects all other areas of my life. I am more so, incredibly thankful for a God who has planned this for me, who knew where I would be, and chose this man for me, and will guide me through the process.