Monday, August 16, 2010

Fighting for Sabbath...

It's hard. It's also hard when you throw in moving, a wedding to plan, and well... you get the point.

But it is SO IMPORTANT!

I'm going out on a limb here, and mostly speaking from personal experience, but I'm thinking that one of the most important spiritual disciplines is keeping the Sabbath... or resting... neither of which I am very good at... even though I recognize the indescribable value in them.

I used to be stellar at keeping my friday off as my down day. Well at least I was for the first 6 months or so that I worked at Crosspointe, but then, something happened, and I can't tell you when or how. Errands started creeping in, as did doctor appts, and well all those lovely things you have to get done M-F between 8 and 5pm. And somehow... friday was filled with chores and not so restful anymore.

A few months back I was reflecting on the Sabbath and wondering how those of the Jewish faith managed to keep it. I mean really, how in the world did they keep from lighting a fire, from cooking, from cleaning... especially back in the day when there wasn't a drive through... and it dawned on me... the fought for it. They worked hard for it.

So this weekend we tried something new. Work like crazy people on Friday and Saturday, so there would be NOTHING left to do on Sunday. I'll admit, Saturday was hard. Doing this meant some adjusting in life. I used to cook two large dinners on Sunday night. We would eat off of both of them all week. This was going to be moved to Saturday. I would also do laundry on sunday. This too had to find a new place in the rhythm of life. Last minute tidy-ing up on Sunday? Also moved...

Saturday is often busy for us, and I wondered if it would work, but we managed. Somehow we managed to fit the yard work in, and well, we were quite behind on a few things, so that took most of the day. Can I say edging? powerwashing? yes... THAT far behind :) There was also this little deal of a car being at the dealership and waiting for answers as to why it was NOT running! In addition I found myself scrubbing some baseboards with a toothbrush... yes I know, poor Jason is starting to realize what he's gotten himself into. At least he understands my fondness of a label maker! Saturday, literally, was spent, almost in its entirety, cooking, cleaning, sorting, filing, unpacking, paying bills, mowing, edging... yada... yada... yada all in anxious anticipation of Sunday.

We fought for it. We fought hard, and we won. We went to church, and after all of the services were finished we came home to an empty task list. The house was clean, the yard work was done, the meals for the week prepped... and we rested. We did nothing. I took a nap, because we all know how much I love sleep, we played a game, we enjoyed each others company, we laughed, and we talked with family on the phone... and we rested.

And it was completely worth it. Honestly folks, words cannot describe how incredibly refreshing it was to have NOTHING to do! Well I'm sure there were some things, but not anything that had to be done TODAY. We felt like new people.

And somehow, while I slept little last night... I feel more refreshed than I have for weeks.

It's worth fighting for people. Trust me. It's worth it.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Change

I am usually a person who embraces change. I moved often as a kid, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the newness, the sorting, the organizing, the purging... the new place, the new friends, setting up the room again! Loved it. Some might actually accuse me of trying "create" change in my life as an adult in my inability to stay put in the same place for several years... I'm a wanderer...

I'm a wanderer whose heart has found a home in the heart of another. And I love this. I love that I can trust this man with my entire life and with all of me, my heart, my mind, my spirit. No, he won't be "perfect" and neither will I, but we have this hope that we will give grace when needed, always learn and grow, and love each other honestly. As well as a mutual agreement to always fight for each other and for our marriage. Yes. We know it looks easier in print than it will be, but you gotta aim high right?

So my wanderer/vagabond/explorer heart was recently surprised (read overwhelmed) the other day as I stopped to process what was going on in my soul. I think I hadn't put it all together yet, but I had been feeling the effects of it all for the last several weeks... say since May? And I didn't know what to do with that feeling... or the emotions that came with it.

There is a LOT of change going on. A LOT. More than this vagabond-change-creator has ever experienced... this coming from a girl who sold all she had, packed some bags and moved to Tanzania a few years ago.

In May, life took a turn, a very good turn, one that I am thrilled about. I said "yes" to the man of my dreams. And even though we had talked about things beforehand, it was all now becoming reality. And the changes began.

It was subtle at first. A change in how we prioritize time, a change in how we prioritize each other. A change of clothes (had to look good for pictures). And it grew... a change in how we manage finances... a change in how we operate in our previous family traditions... and it grew some more... a change in how I approach my job (sidenote: I am not quitting my job, I LOVE my role at Crosspointe, but you have to admit, when you love someone, the approach to travel and what your heart experiences with each trip is different)... a change in how I spend my free time (aka, now wedding planning/dreaming time) a change in what we read (we've got some great books we're going through on how to have a healthy marriage and love each other well.)

And then.. some more...

a change of address... a change in medications (let's face it, enough change has happened this year, we don't need to add to the Markley clan quite yet) a change in lifestyle from renter to homeowner... a change in the list of weekend chores with said home ownership... a change in living environment (someone else must be considered here, even if he isn't living here right now) a change in how I load the dishwasher, or how dishes are managed.. a change in how laundry is managed... a change in... life.

All of this change is good. All of it. And this list is not to say that Jason isn't doing a thing, or is asking me to do things his way, its just proclaiming the fact that for the last several years we have lived life differently, and we are both adults who like systems and processes, and we are both learning how to operate and love each other in our different systems and processes...

And I find myself overwhelmed. Which is where this post began. The wanderer/vagabond/explorer has found her match. What I find to be incredibly awesome, is that monday afternoon I could finally put a word or two to what I was feeling. Overwhelmed by change. Monday night I came home, and over dinner I opened up... and shared... shared my excitement for the future... and my excitement for all that is taking place... and my joy over all of it... but that there is this great feeling that is also gripping my heart... I am overwhelmed by it all.

And Jason... in all his security said... "I know." He didn't panic, he didn't try to "fix" it, he listened. I love this man.

We both know that life is radically, and quickly changing. We both recognize there are going to be points that are harder for each of us individually, and while we are excited about the future, recognize that there are going to be points that are incredibly overwhelming...

But we're not alone. We have this hope, this trust, in Something beyond us. Something bigger than us. SomeOne who dreams beyond our dreams, who leads us, who loves us fully, who guides us, and who we truly feel has brought us together. And we take comfort in that Hope. We trust Him to lead, and we find security in knowing that those feelings that might be too big to fit in our chest... aren't too big for Him. And we keep making necessary changes, and we keep celebrating, and we keep learning to love each other and keep being intentional about learning how to do that better.

And change and transition continue.