I used to read quite a bit, but honestly I find America to be full of distractions (mainly the metal box in my living room,) and well, it seems now that most of the reading I do is either from a variety of blogs, articles or online magazines. That is ok, for a season, but I lately I have been starving for mental growth.
So far I am stuck on the first chapter, and the idea that it is OK to ask God questions. Some of you might be rolling your eyes but hang in there. How often to we ask God the hard questions? I have a few stewing in my soul these days, but hesitate to even utter the words...why?
In my world, there are two answers to that question. I either don't ask because I feel like by asking I might be demonstrating a lack of faith, because people who really believe in God don't ever ask questions right??? HA! The second reason, is more of a harsh reality that I need to recognize...I am not ready for an answer. I know that I am asking the question because I want to know the answer, but often times, I am only prepared to receive one of the answers (the one that lines up well with my plans and dreams.)
There is something freeing about recognizing that even Moses asked God questions and lived, and was considered a faithful man, as did Abraham, so maybe I could be known as someone who asked a lot of questions and not have my faith questioned.
And maybe I could start asking questions with a grimace on my face as I anticipated possibly not getting to hear the answer I was hoping for. Because ultimately, I know I want what God wants and what is best for me, and the longer I wait to ask the question for fear of hearing a different answer, quite possibly the longer I sit in silence, and well, sitting in silence isn't any fun at all.
And about that metal box in my living room, I have been talking about turning it off for the last several weeks, and tonight in a gesture of reclaiming my space I moved it to the closet of the guest bedroom. It's not a permanent switch, but something that needed to be done.