Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Just one of those days...

Today started in tears.

I shouldn't commit to 7:30 AM meetings, or maybe I should. This morning I wept as I shared some feelings and experiences of the last six months. To put it bluntly, I hate crying, especially in public, but I have learned to do it, and well today a slew of folks got to see a rather humbled girl at the corner of 49th and penn at Hubbard and Craven's coffee company.

I cried in the car this afternoon as I drove away from Eric and Lisa's house, after saying goodbye to them again.

Today also ended it tears as I went to my Common Ground House Church for the last time for who knows how long. I wept inside as people shared stories of how God changed their lives, I love how God can make all things beautiful...I then wiped the tears off of my face as we prayed and were honest with God about how we are, who we are and Who He is. It is odd how I have only been among this group 2 times in the last two years, but yet I still feel a part of it and welcome there.

Tears aren't bad. They are actually good for the soul, but I really don't like starting my day and ending it with them.

3 comments:

woosterweester said...

You rock. Seriously. It may sound disingenuine, but it's true...it takes a strong person, one fully cemented in Christ, fully alive in Christ, fully abandoned and self-less to cry so freely. I find it absolutely refreshing. Don't ever lose that sensitivity. Don't ever become crystallized, hardened by disappointments and good-byes. Your heart is a beautiful thing!

Pam said...

I have to say, my tears were not out of sensitivity, it was because I didn't have any strength to hide them inside... :) Thanks for your encouragement and thanks for your prayers!

patingamon said...

In Acts, chapter 21, Paul is leaving a church he poured his heart into. I love these words in verse 1 "After we had torn ourselves away from them, we put out to sea..." because that is how we felt when we left America for England and how we felt when we left England for America. It tore.

Not a day goes by that I don't catch a smell, or hear a voice, or see something that does not take me immediately back to the faces and souls that we left. And sometimes, even though it has now been a couple of years, I break down and weep (though not on a corner - I mean, really, that would be embarrassing :))

So weep for the past. Weep through the memories. Weep for the friends and faces and families and souls.

And then rejoice in the Today that the Lord has made. Cause there is a lot more ahead.