Sunday, February 03, 2008

On Thankfulness...

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

This transition is a difficult one. I never expected to be leaving Tanzania so soon. I will admit that I don't think I am done with Africa, that I truly am holding to the belief that I will be on this lovely but struggling continent someday...maybe that is denial. I know for now, for this season I am called home, and that too is a struggle, because what I hear is that I am going home, but I still don't have a job, or a permanent living environment, or well...or really anything...but when I think about I am thankful, because even though the world would look at my bank account and my possessions and say I have very, I know that I have much.

I am thankful that I have a God who loves me.
I am thankful that I have a God who knows what is best for me.
I am thankful that I have a God who has never let me down.
I am thankful that when I weep, God is very aware of my struggle.
I am thankful that God can bring joy in such a season of saying goodbye. That a room of my closest friends can sit and worship and pray and celebrate what He is doing.
I am thankful that He is my defender.
I am thankful that He is my provider.
I am thankful that even when I don't feel like being thankful I am still loved.
I am thankful that God has given me a heart of flesh, one that feels hurt and feels joy, that grieves and mourns but also celebrates and rejoices.
I am thankful for the sadness that comes in leaving, it is a reminder of the home God gave me here.
I am thankful for the excitement of the future, it is a reminder of how God does far more than I can dream or imagine.
I am thankful that saying goodbye to those I love here isn't a permanent goodbye, because as cheesy as it sounds, I do believe that we will see each other at the celebration banquet!
I am thankful for the promise of rest, as I know I am in great need of rest.
I am thankful that I am not the necessary piece to God transforming Unga, but at the same time I am so very thankful that I was allowed to be a part of it.
I am thankful for 24 hour plane rides, it gives me a great opportunity to process, to breathe, and to prepare before landing in busy and loud America.
I am thankful for seasons of difficulty, as they do increase my faith.
I am thankful for tears, they remind me of that heart of flesh that is such a gift.
I am thankful for music, as it helps me to be still and know, and rest, and cry and rejoice.
I am thankful, that the God we serve, is not a distance God, that He is very involved, and cares about all these little things I am thankful for....

I am thankful, for the last two years, for all that He has done, and all that He has allowed me to be a part of. The last two years, have truly been far more than I could have ever dreamed or imagined.

I am thankful...and I rejoice...but still my heart grieves. I Africa.

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