Tuesday, November 20, 2007

One pure and holy passion.

In all honesty, I was trying to keep myself awake. It was too early to go to bed, but too late to take a nap, so I did what I do most nights...I pulled out the guitar and the folder of music that I am trying to re-learn how to play...should I mention that I am re-learning the guitar, and it hasn't been like getting on a bike...it has been a challenge, one met with some icky sounds...my poor neighbors...

Anyhow, I was working through a relatively easy song, One Pure and Holy Passion by Watermark. And as I played it the 10th or 12th time it dawned on me, that I was praying the lyrics as I realized my passion wasn't what it should have been.

The lyrics really cause me to think:
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
to know and follow hard after you.

To know and follow hard after you.
To grow as your disciple in the truth.
This world is empty pale and poor
compared to knowing you my Lord
lead me on and I will run after you.
lead me on and I will run after you.

I was praying these lyrics as I realized my passion, as of late, hasn't been to know and follow hard after Jesus. It has been about many other things....being a good minister, girlfriend, friend, teammate, sister, daughter (all are quite noble pursuits I might add :) and can I dare admit...about starting a vital ministry....screeeeech! When the passion becomes the ministry as opposed to the One who leads us to the throne himself...oh folks we have got a problem. No wonder my heart has been a little achy lately. It was pursuing all the wrong things, good things, but the wrong things.

My passion somewhere went from knowing Jesus, to doing good things for him. My passion for Africa became less about following His lead, and more about starting a good ministry, and completing the task, and doing it well, and about so many other things, instead of being here because he led me here. My passion for working with the poor hasn't been so much about following Jesus' lead either, instead it has been about the job...wow this is an honest post isn't it?

Dear Jesus, Give me one pure and holy passion. Make whatever I do in my life revolve around knowing and following hard after you, wherever you lead me, I will run after you.


Brian Williams said...

God has given you great self-awareness. The challenge is always to do life With Jesus, not For Him. Because, inevitably when we do something For someone, a little doing it For ourselves creeps in... But when we are doing it WITH HIM, then pride is unable to approach the presence of our risen Savior.
Great post Pam. Our prayers are with you and the rest of the team...

Jenelle said...

Bless you for letting the nice Spirit re-turn you. I really like that you're playing the guitar again. You'll be as good as new, soon.