Thursday, October 25, 2007

Confessions.

This season, has been a painful one, but it has been filled with many lessons. And revelations...some of them re-revelations (is that a word?)

1. I like to be in control. (duh) Although I know that everyone around me has the best of intentions and wants the best for me, it is very difficult having them call the shots...which leads to number 2.

2. I have a hard time trusting. And the more I reflect on it, the more I realize that this isn't just with people, it is with God too, cause if I truly trusted God with ALL of me, then I would trust the people He puts into my life to lead and guide me.

3. I don't like being told what to (or not) to do. My mom is probably sighing in relief that I realize this...she has known for years.

4. I don't like painful processes. They're painful. (another duh!) and the word process...insinuates a LOOOONNNNGGGG time! I would much rather rip the band aid off than pull it slowly, I don't care how hairy my arms are.

5. I am blunt. too blunt at times, and that causes people (most often those closest to me) pain. I really must master the art of telling the truth in love.

6. I am forgiven. When I accepted Jesus, I was forgiven for everything, not just everyone else, and I really should start to live that way.

7. I am loved. I mean really, He gave His life on a cross for me. Why wouldn't I realize I am loved beyond measure.

8. Life...it hurts sometimes...and its OK. And crying, i hate to do it, but it is a good thing...maybe that should be number 9.

9. Those who read this blog..especially this post won't believe it...but I am an extremely private person, at least with all the hurts, sins, past etc. I don't like to share my failings with others...but then...really...can I be in community with others if I don't?

10. I NEED the body of Christ. Another re-revelation. Which attempts to squash numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4. We're working on this one still.

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