The dogs barking. It used to never wake me up, but as of late it does. They bark, I wake up and wonder is something out there? I apparently have forgotten the words of Psalm 4:8. So I called the guard and asked why the dogs were barking so agressively and incessantly (I might add that I am currently impressed with my ability to say all that in swahili at 2 am, in a sleepy stupor) and he said there was another dog outside of the fence.
I fell back asleep, only to wake up again, and again and again. I gave up going back to sleep at 4:30. I had planned to get up a little before 6 anyhow. I started reading. I had nothing else I could do. My house was full of sleeping people and it seemed a little insane to cook at such an hour, or do laundry. So I read.
And I am thankful that God got my dogs to bark all night. In reading, I soon became concerned because there was a constant thread...persevere...rejoice when you face trials...persevere...persevere...no joke...it came up about 4 or 5 times. I have learned that when God reveals something to me more than once I should listen, 4 or 5 times he really means it.
So I was challenged to persevere. In what? I have no idea. I asked, and I felt like it was an answer to many questions in my life. In your prayer walking Pam...persevere. In your starting a ministry...persevere. In your relationships...persevere. Persevere Pam. Persevere in walking with me. Persevere.
So what does that have to do with a journey of Desire? I desire God fully. I desire to rest in the fulness of His love because I know that He alone is all I need, but yet I have desires in this earth as well. And I was challenged on that too this morning. That even in my desires, I need to persevere and follow him. That He alone is to be my God.
In essence, I hear a simple, yet challenging and scary sentence from God today.
"Pam, things are gonna be hard, really hard, but persevere with me on this journey of Desire."
It is a simple sentence. But I don't like knowing things are gonna be hard, I like them all wrapped up in pretty packages. It is scary because you don't know how things will end, or what will become of desires, of wants, or of life, but there is more.
He also promises to persevere with me. He promises to give me peace. Not as the world understands, but only as he can give, and he gives me great peace. Great peace and a desire to persevere, to walk in the fullness of His love and trust Him completely with whatever He is doing in my world, in my work, in my relationships and in my family.
Persevere Pam, on this journey of Desires.