This morning I wrote an email. I was figuratively weeping. My heart was overwhelmed with joy and sorrow. I was experiencing great Joy due to what God is doing, and the adventure He has me on, but I was extremely sorrowful because I didn't know where the adventure was going, I was not in control, and because I wanted to be somewhere else having that adventure. I was experiencing the dichotomy of Joyful Sorrow.
I was experiencing the wrong perspective. I was looking at me. At them. At the situation and feeling defeated. I was wanting things my way, even though God has said he do could far more than I could ever dream or imagine. I was not looking at things the way God does.
On my way into town to get some groceries I was listening to the ipod and noticed my heart changing, with each word of each song. As I listened to the words of "I'm Ready Now" by Desperation Band I realized that this isn't about me. When the song "The Purest place" by Watermark came on, I recognized the best place for me to be was where God is. As I listened to song after song and allowed myself to speak the words myself, I remembered, that God is big. He knows my heart. He knows my desires. He knows me. He knows my future. He knows all things and in all things He is known. He reminded me to have perspective, to remember that He has a perspective far greater than any I could ever dream or imagine, and He knows what He is doing. He reminded me of His promises, of the words He has revealed to me in recent weeks, and reminded me that He has amazing plans for me.
Praise God there is more than one perspective in the world. Praise God that although mine is clouded, His is not. Praise God that I can choose his perspective, and find great comfort in it, no matter where it leads, no matter what hurdles will need crossing, no matter what joys and no matter what sorrows. No matter what.