You know in movies where people are in a crisis or stressful situation and all they can mutter is 2 or 3 word phrases or syllables and they really don't make sense? I am not in crisis, rather I am doing really well, but God is teaching me so much and challenging me in new ways and if you asked for more than a "fine" from me you would get a body language answer. An answer where I would make a noise emphasizing my being being overwhelmed, and my hands shaking somewhere around my mid section but also moving upward because I am trying to express the overflow, the outpouring and then i would try to talk but the words would come out incoherently...
I...It's good...Life...good...God...amazing...love...shocking...His love... shocking... overflowing...stilling...mind boggling...wow....I just can't get it out...mmph... huh... well... it's like... I really can't say... good. its good... yeah...that's it... its good... trust... hope... perseverance... yeah... crazy... not... making... sense... whoa!... nuts... random... I don't have words.
Literally this is the cycle that has come out of my mouth the last several weeks as I prayed and talked to God, I have been more and more thankful that in His word he reminds us that His Holy Spirit intercedes for us.
Then yesterday. There were words. His words.
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide, and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I get consumed. I am so in shock of what is going on around me, that I can't speak. There is so much going on in me, and in my heart, and I am asking God, "what in the world are you doing?" "what are you thinking?" "are you for sure?" and His response was simple.
Pam, I am able to do immeasurably more than you could ask or imagine, because my spirit is within my people, and within you. To my glory I will act and you will be shocked. I am the Father of all in heaven and earth, and out of my glorious riches I will strengthen you in the inner being with my Spirit. Christ will dwell in your heart through faith and you, being rooted and established in love will be able to grasp how wide, long, high and deep is Christs love, and you will know this love that surpasses all knowledge or logic, you will be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
A friend of mine came up to me at church this morning and said, I really feel like God wants me to encourage you. Yesterday I really felt he wanted me to say, "Pam, I know what I am doing, I am doing amazing things and I know your heart and your plans and your passions and your desires, and I am able to do more than you could ever imagine. These things you are feeling and experiencing are from me, don't run, don't hide, don't resist, just trust me."
So I am still groaning a few syllables, but at the same time, I am finding extreme comfort in my God knowing exactly what is in my future, and for once, I am not worried about it, I know he has it under control and I don't want to take it back. I am cool with not knowing, with trusting, and taking today today, and leaving tomorrow for tomorrow. In fact, there is more than comfort...there is a peace...that incomprehensible peace.
I love having a God who is involved in our lives. Makes life much easier doesn't it?